What Type of Parent are YOU? (Part 2)

Today we will discuss another type of parenting style- are you ready?

Here’s a description of today’s style- see if any of these attributes sound familiar to you…

This type of parent is less demanding and more responsive, non-traditional and more lenient, they avoid confrontation at all costs, and don’t require mature behavior from their kids. Discipline and limits are missing in this household.They typically allow freedom than being committed to routines. They make few rules, and don’t enforce them consistently. They typically accept the child in a loving and warm way no matter what the behavior. If the parent needs the child to follow a rule or has an expectation to be met, bribery, gifts, food and other motivators are commonly used.

Here’s a summary:

Affectionate
Anxious to please, ends every sentence by asking, “OK?”
Can’t say no and stick to it
Easily manipulated
Acts as a peer or friend rather than a parent
Easily manipulated and taken advantage of

His or her child is likely to be:

Demanding and whiny
Easily frustrated
Uncooperative
Rude
Self-centered
Believe parents serve children
Dependent, disrespectful
Lacking kindness and empathy
A poor to average student
A follower

This is called the Permissive Approach to Parenting- it is respectful but not firm.

“Freedom without limits is not democracy. It’s anarchy, and children raised with anarchy don’t learn respect for rules or authority or how to handle their freedom responsibly. Kids don’t cooperate, even if they understand that it’s the right thing to do. They are kids- and if it’s not to their interest and benefit it’s only natural for them to not comply to the request and cooperate no matter what the situation or conditions involved.” - Setting Limits With Your Strong Willed Child

A household with the permissive parent could be described as being a frenzy. When having to prepare for big events the parent/parents may become frantic because they can’t get any cooperation from their children.

The main reasons this type of parenting doesn’t work effectively are because children need require boundaries, limits and consistent discipline when needed. Consistency is the real key- I can’t make this clear enough- it’s more confusing, challenging and makes for a harder battle if rules/boundaries aren’t in place and enforcing them isn’t consistent. Giving in- even just once here and there- will send the message to the child that they have won and they will only challenge and fight harder the next time around to try and get you to fall or give in again giving them another victory.

A daily confrontation may include the following:

Requests, appeals, lectures, frustration, guilt, giving in, drama, threats, bargains and the parent usually gives up because they can’t get cooperation or the desired outcome/cooperation.

The permissive parent is common, but they set themselves up for heartache, stress, frustration and will be worn and tired at the end of every day. This is mainly because they are not consistent, their children nearly never cooperate, and they spend hours of their day trying to explain and reason with their children and gain nothing in the end. Many times by the end of the day- these parents just give up- and they can’t get things completed that they need to on a daily basis.

Tessa’s Tips

Be consistent
If you set boundaries and limits- be ready to defend them and be Firm- initially it’ll be a giant struggle but will pay off in the end. (I promise!)
Children will feel love and secure if they have limitations to their actions and have expectations- that way they can make you proud!
Depending on the child’s age- try setting new limits- start with a few at a time to both teach your child the rules of the house have changed- and also to help you learn to be firm and consistent.

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